There is a lot of power in our thoughts and the stories we tell ourselves. Our beliefs greatly shape our reality, and they affect our perception of events and our journeys after we experience trauma.

In September 2008, I returned to Canada after a combat deployment to Afghanistan. Shortly after I came home, my parents held a welcome party for me with my family members. Unexpectedly, I couldn’t help but feel anxious and agitated. Among the normal conversations with my family, I felt a growing sense of tension and dread building in me. These feelings continued to build until I had to excuse myself and get some space.   

It takes incredible strength, discipline, and courage to wake up daily and confront your demons. These demons take many forms. They might be the mental illness you are dealing with, your grief, or your traumas.

After you go through a traumatic experience, your ability to manage stress and pressure is often negatively affected. We all know this, but why do we still self-sabotage by putting extra pressure on ourselves afterward?

Imagine holding a cup, representing your total “capacity” for mental energy. Your day-to-day responsibilities are normally well managed, and your cup might only be 60% full on average. When you are functioning optimally, you have the extra space to manage the unexpected stressors that arise.

When I was 20, I thought I knew what it meant to struggle.

I had survived a combat deployment to Afghanistan as a soldier in the Canadian Forces. I was newly married. I was a new police officer. I was also dealing with the effects of PTSD.

At the time, I knew hardship and adversity. I had witnessed the traumas of war, come close to dying numerous times, and still felt the pain and grief of loss. As I moved forward with my life, I worked hard to overcome my past traumas, integrating those experiences into my new identity as someone more than my past.